


Lemons

by SherlockedForEternity



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-15 19:54:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5797696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SherlockedForEternity/pseuds/SherlockedForEternity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>pre-reichenbach, lemony fun (idek)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lemons

**Author's Note:**

> stupid thing i wrote three years ago

/set pre-reichenbach/  
Sherlock groggily awoke to the sound of drilling downstairs, he had a pounding headache and he couldn't recall what had happened last night. He stumbled towards the bathroom and grabbed a cup hastily filling it with cold tap water. chugging down the water, he got rid of the sour taste in his mouth. Lemons.  
John looked up from his drilling, he took his goggles off and looked towards Sherlock who had appeared at the bottom of the stairs wearing nothing but a bed sheet. "Morning Sherlock." John chipped. He grabbed his tea from the table beside him and gave Sherlock a crooked grin.  
Sherlock walked towards John and his "project". "So, what exactly are you doing?"  
John snorted and shook his head slightly, oh Sherlock, he thought to himself. "What does it look like?"  
"Well judging by your intense drilling at 9am on a Sunday morning, you're building a safe, you've already installed the base alu-" Sherlock suddenly stopped, noticing John's endearing gaze. "You're building a safe for the lemon seeds?"  
"Yes, Sherlock a safe. You know, you don't have to impress me with your thingy." John replied.  
"Observations." Sherlock gazed into John's eyes. "John, you're giving me those 'sex eyes' again."  
John smiled, and moved closer to Sherlock. "Now how about you, me and fondue before Mrs Hudson comes up with the morning tea."  
Sherlock thought for a moment, confused. "Fondue...?" John's pupils are dilated, Sherlock noted. The beginning of a boner was starting to show on John. John wanted sex, he concluded. And boy was Sherlock wanting some of it too.  
"Yes, fondue." John walked over to the cabinet and pulled out a plate. Golden sunlight shone down on a slice of lemon cheesecake that lay enticingly upon the china plate. It was creamy, rich and god damn delicious. Sherlock unconsciously licked his lips as his tummy rumbled. "This, my love, is what I call fondue. Ready?"  
"But that's a cheescake, not fondue." Sherlock quizzed.  
John rolled his eyes lovingly and pulled Sherlock by the arm with one hand and holding the cheescake with another. "Come on, you idiot." 

~ 4 hours later, and one permanently scarred Mrs Hudson ~  
John lay next to Sherlock completely and utterly sated. He looked up towards Sherlock's curly mop and combed his fingers through it fondly. Sherlock hummed contently and snuggled into John. "I'm going for a shower, coming?"  
Sherlock turned his head to the side and pecked John's lips gently. "Sure, but I'm going to get a coffee first." Sherlock slid off the bed and walked into the kitchen, not bothering to grab anything to cover himself.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
It was a few minutes before midnight on Febraury the 29th. John gathered up his ingredients: meadowsweet, lamb's blood and a wishbone of a young rooster born on the last day of a leap year. He placed the ingedients into a bowl and dragged the coffee table to the middle of the room. He picked up a piece of chalk and began to draw a symbol onto the table. After he finished, he placed the bowl on top of the table.   
John took out his penknife and cut his hand, allowing for the blood to drip into the bowl. He lit a match and threw it into the bowl before saying the rituals. He threw a couple of lemon seeds into the fire and started to dance around the flames. "Rise my lemon babies, rise and on this day, you shall be given life."  
Mrs Hudson walked upstairs to investigate what all the hubbub was all about. She saw John wearing nothing but a hawaii skirt and a very flamboyant head dress and promptly walked out muttering something about drinking too much herbal soothers a little too late.   
Suddenly, a loud bang emitted from the bowl and John stopped dancing momentarily to notice bright yellow smoke engulfing the room and a strong smell of lemon. John giggled gleefully knowing that he had succeeded in bringing his lemons into life. Three lemons the size of a grown man rolled into the room.  
Unacceptable! The lemons screeched in a high pitched voice.  
"Lemongrab??" John said to himself, confused at what was happening. "There must be something wrong!" He ran over to the pile of books and flicked through them frantically trying to find an answer.   
Whilst John was trying to find an answer, the three life sized lemons simultaneously tried to escape from the door. They bumped into tables, cupboards and Sherlock's experiments.   
John swore. Sherlock was going to kill him. After a few more bumps, the three lemons escaped out of the door.  
Sherlock was definitely going to kill him.  
Beep beep. John picked up his phone from the floor where it fell earlier and looked at the screen. Incoming call from unknown number. John pressed the answer button and mentally prepared himself for a shouting from his flatmate occasional boyfriend.  
"Hello John." An Irish accent came through the phone.  
"Who is this?" John replied half suspicious and half relieved that it wasn't Sherlock.  
"Well John. I am very very offended you don't remember who I am. Remember me? Jim Moriarty, your arch nemesis. Hiiiii." Moriarty replied smoothly.  
John became angry, remembering what Moriarty had done to him at the pool. "What have you done with Sherlock?"   
"You wound me soldier. Why do you think I have your dear little Sherlock? Have you lost him again hedgehog?" Moriarty replied with fake hurt evident in his voice.  
"None of your business. I'm busy. Goodbye Moriarty, go bother someone else." John replied curtly.  
"Well, since you asked nicely. I don't have Sherlock but I did switch your spells and you should find your little fuck-buddy somewhere in your ugly little flat. He's shall I say changed a bit." Moriarty giggled gleefully and put the phone down. He turned to his tiger, Sebastian and tackled him to the bed happily.   
"Fuck." John said to himself before launching the phone across the room. Sherlock was definitely going to kill him.  
A few hours later, John was able to find a very ruffled and angry Sherlock. Only, he was considerably smaller and he was able to fit into John's palm. Luckily, Sherlock's clothes shrunk in size with him.   
John sat on his armchair with some more regular clothing and he placed Sherlock on the table on top of some folded hankerchiefs. Sherlock sat with his back towards John and his arms folded across his legs. His sulking position.  
"Look, Sherlock. I'm sorry. I didn't expect that to happen. I didn't want this either you know." John replied softly.  
"You didn't want this to happen? You've been hell bent since you discovered those lemon seeds! Well thanks to you, I'm not even a foot tall and you've let loose three mentally unstable fictional creatures into the world. Oh and you've also mentally scarred Mrs Hudson again and I wouldn't be suprised if she never wants to talk to you again." Sherlock replied angrily. He had reached the edge of the coffee table in the midst of his anger.


End file.
